KFC Reveals Gaming Console with ‘Chicken Chamber’ that Keeps Foods Warm

No, this isn’t satire on the hyper-consumerist culture of America. Truthfully, I wish I could say it was. But this is America in 2020 and…

No, this isn’t satire on the hyper-consumerist culture of America. Truthfully, I wish I could say it was. But this is America in 2020 and the labored breaths of this dying empire are telling you that the popular food chain KFC has partnered with hardware manufacturer Cooler Master to venture into the gaming console industry:

Now I know what you are thinking- “yeah, yeah, but can it keep the grease on my chicken hot in between games, saving me the effort of having to walk out the room to reheat my chicken?”…

The answer is Yes. Yes, it can! The innovation of this decade, the very frontier of the merger between high-cholesterol foods and mindlessly addictive entertainment…. Behold the chicken chamber!

From an environmental standpoint, it is actually pretty cool that the KFC engineers realized they can simply use the excess heat generated by the console’s components to use as the heat source for the chamber. Before KFC’s console, heat dissipation from console components has always undeniably been wasted energy. KFC however, is using that heat that is typically wasted and actualizing its potential to do more work — like heat your chicken.

Beyond that, the console doesn’t appear to be a gimmick, with the announced specs including “an Intel Nuc 9 Extreme Compute Element and two Seagate® BarraCuda® 1TB SSD drives for storage”. Moreover, “The console can handle virtual reality games and offers smooth gameplay thanks to 240 frames per second frame rate and 4K display compatibility”.

While many are naturally curious on the matter, the price of the console is yet to be announced. In a time of such economic uncertainty, as millions face evictions, foreclosure, default, and bankruptcy, KFC may have to think hard about its price point if it actually expects sales and this isn’t it a marketing stunt.

As with many brands of political satire, cultural satire is quickly being made obsolete by what anonymous experts are calling the “phasing and expansion of ‘clown’ attributes into our material reality”. A few years ago, the onion would have easily published a satire piece about KFC manufacturing a gaming console to keep your chicken warm in an effort to mock American stereotypes. But this is 2020, and this was just another news headline.